Year Drop

Today, 28th May 2011, is possibly the most important day for my life ahead.
To understand that, lets rewind.
I passed my 12th with commerce background and I was possibly the worst commerce student ever. Because my heart was always with Law. And no, I'm not exaggerating, its as true as dramatic it sounds. So, after preparing for 1 year for CLAT (Common Law Aptitude Test), I got sick, bad, a week before my exam, to be hospitalized immediately and operated on THE day. And being as arrogant as I've always been, I hadn't appeared for any other exam.
The only option was an year drop. Which at the beginning was boring as hell and torturous and discouraging.
Its not easy seeing all your friends starting new life, hating their college, abusing their mess; while all you do is nothing. If there was one advice I'd share was, never take an year drop, never.!
But then eventually you pull yourself together and as slow as possible, you start studying. So did I :)
This past one year was devastating, delusional and somehow still the most fruitful year of my life. I learnt guitar, one thing that had always attracted me, but I never really had time to pick up. I started blogging again, made my blog l'il attractive, although never publicized it enough (not even yet). I went to Indonesia, celebrated my parents 25th wedding anniversary and made a great friend, by far my greatest asset.
And by the end I was happy, way more than happy. I did everything I'd have wanted to do. The only thing left was CLAT.
So I studied, did my part and the exam somehow went well. It was to decide my college life, which for various reasons was going to change my life and not only in a career oriented way. You see, all my life I'd wanted to settle in Bangalore, starting with college, but the way last year turned out, all I wanted was to stick around the people I love. It would have never happened had I not being around the most wonderful people in the world

So, If I was to thank one person for everything I've achieved, I would keep my mouth shut. Because everyone close to me has been so supportive that leaving anyone out would be unfair.
I'd thank dad, for every 1 hour embarrassing you-are-not-studying-enough speeches.
I'd thank mom, for every 5min comforting words after dad's speeches.
NJ & Simmi, for simply bearing me.
Honey, for constantly scaring me regarding the no. of seats and blah blah.
Ashu, for giving me the time to study and not disturbing when I was studying.

I would have never suggested a year drop had I not being the position I am right now, but from this end it doesn't seem so bad :)
And in all this, why was 28 may so important? Because today I was assured my wish has come true. Of course I mean by the result, which wasn't so bad either ;)


xoxo

Code of Chatting

Some how, mostly internet has narrowed down to one thing and one thing alone : Chatting. Its addictive, relaxing, informative (if gossiping is your forte) and fun, so I heard. Personally I've never been a fan of chatting. Its lethargic, methodical and in various small and frequent doses, awkward.
I always wished there was this written down 'Code of Conduct' for chatting and since I didn't want one from someone else, here is my version of it.
Enjoy
xoxo

• Don't start with 'wassup'. Seriously, its so irritating. 'wassup?? wassup??' You wanna know what is up? ITS THE CEILING. Just raise your head and check it.!
• If someone starts with 'wassup' please don't say ceiling, its just rude.
• Don't use capital letter, WHEN YOU USE CAPS IT MAKES THE READER FEEL LIKE YOU ARE SHOUTING, unless you are shouting, then you're good to go.
• Wanna kill a chat? Just walk away, don't reply 'hmm' to every question. Its makes the other person wanna kill you.
• Just because you're a girl doesn't mean you have to wait for the guy to pop first. Its a l'il lame.
• Excess use of smiley is weird (trust me). Then again, plain words won't help expressing your tone correctly (mostly with being sarcastic).
• Don't get way too personal way too quick. Asking about the relationship status in the first convo is avoidable, so may be you'd wanna avoid it. Especially if you're talking to a person of opposite sex (which, lets face it, is always the case).
• Flirting is not banned. But make sure you've reached that comfort level first. Otherwise its just desperate and sad :p
• Its gonna sound totally unlikely me, but yes, small talks can do wonders.
• Again, if the person's trying for small talks, reciprocate.
• And ya, its 'lol' not lolzzz or lolllll and its definitely not lollaa.
• If you are a person like me, who'd tend to get knocked down when people try to be nice and friendly through chatting, just stay offline. It sure helps.

Finally, in a slightly unrelated note, never send a private message like 'please add me' NEVER.

Father's Day

I found this poem somewhere on the net.
No idea who the poet is and the title's mine too.
But as soon as I read it, I felt like its worth spreading.
Do give it a shot.
xoxo


Father's Day

Her hair was up in a ponytail
Her favorite dress tied with a bow
Today was Daddy's Day at school
And she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her,
That she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
Of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school,
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees,
A dad who never calls.




There were daddies along the wall in back,
For everyone to meet
Children squirming impatently,
Anxious in their seats.
One by one the teacher called,
Each student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
As seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
For a man who wasn't there.
"Where's her daddy at?"
She heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one"
Another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
She heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day."
The words did not offened her,
As she smiled up at her mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
Who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came words incredibly unique.
"My daddy couldn't be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him,
I'm not standing here alone.
Cause my daddy's always with me
Even though we are apart.
I know because he told me,
He'll forever be in my heart."
With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
Her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
Of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
Staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.
"I love my daddy very much,
He's my shining star.
And if he could he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.
You see he was a fireman
And died just this past year.
When airplanes hit the towers
And taught Americans to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
It's like he never went away."
And then she closes her eyes,
And saw him there that day.
And to her mother's amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they say before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.
"I know you're with me Daddy."
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
For each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
By the love of her shining bright star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far.

I Wonder

How does it feel to be dead? I have no idea what death means. Or why is it scary; isn't it just like sleeping: you lay down, close your eyes and Rest In Peace?
How you ever felt nothing? The taste on your tongue when you're not eating anything? Or why the time while you're sleeping feels non-existent?
Why do we notice our hands' presence only when it hurts? Put your hand up and try not to feel the air around it. Feel your hand for a change. Feels weird, right?
Everyone is worried about the end of the world, but if all living soul, ever organism is finishing at ones, whom to worry for and why?


When I sit to think about all this, my mind gives me more questions, enough to make me forget looking for the answers. Well, isn't this the problem with all of us. We search around, everywhere without knowing what to look for. There are so many options, so many ideas and so many problems that sticking around to one becomes impossible. And when we force ourselves to hang onto something, it eventually looses it's charm and we loose the passion.

No clue if life is short. And I definitely do not know what that phrase mean. But what I do know is that it's just one. You can't make or break it. You can live. You can smile. You can share laughs.
Life is not such a complex issue. What only matters is happiness. Money, success or fame are just different ways to grab that.

It's easy to complicate. But that's not how it's supposed to be done.
Everyones got problems of their own but every problem comes with its solution-soulmate. And 10 years later when you'll look back it'll all seem like a story: nothing so difficult that it couldnt be taken care of. Remember to be good from within, yes, it won't change the world or stop the possible next world war, but it'll be satisfying. Because if life has any meaning at all, it's living.



"I was just wondering if anyone else ever wondered about all this :)"
xoxo

All About Nothing

And now after I don't know how many days, I'm in a mood to 'fill in the blog' ! I do feel like writing loads of crap right now, but I have no idea what should I write about.
Looking for topic, reminds of the speech I once gave in the morning assembly.
Ah ! My 'school's morning assembly'. This phrase can bring back so many memories that I can put up two more posts. There is a lethargic pattern, on how the assembly works. It all starts with the morning prayer: join your hands, close your eyes and follow the choir. Then Thought of the day: a thought (seriously, what else) then the Todays news headlines are: it always follows the same pattern, always ! Finally a Speech: they always had the same way of starting, ending and executing.
So when it was my turn to get up on the stage, I wanted to speak on a different topic, something that everyone would remember, that would show my individuality; And thats exactly what I spoke on : Stand For the I. The speech went well and encouraged me to try again. And thats what brings us back to the 'TOPIC'
Two days before the second speech IE Monday (I gave speeches only on Thursdays, thought it was my lucky day) I was looking for a topic to write on, again the same feelings: no repeated, boring topic. I felt like everyone should be a little creative on what topic to speak about, and then I was like 'why not?' So thats how I ended up giving a speech on the topic Topic. 
Topic is a very interesting topic to speak on.
I started the speech okay! Halfway down, I lost my words. Lost the jest. And finally lost the idea that I was standing in front of 2500 students, meaning 5000 thousands ears (and the teaching staff off course) and so very bravely, I said one pure simple word: SHIT.
Turned out Thursdays were not so lucky after all.
Although I considered myself Lucky, it was always confusing that what exactly did 'luck' mean? If you're reading further expecting I'd have some well thought out theory, ha ha! I have no idea :|
Doesn't matter so much, right? Well, not to me at least. Or maybe it does. I'd never push the scarce amount of luck bestowed upon me :D
eh! I think I should stop writing now :p

Anyway there ends my 'fill-in-the-blog' feeling.
And if I 'have to' add an advice in the post, I'd say : Don't update your blog when you're in a bad mood, it wont make much sense. *if you know what I mean*

xoxo